THIS IS A LETTER I RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE LOOKING FOR ADVICE.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO POST YOUR ADVICE IN THE COMMENTS. THANK YOU!
I need your advice.
I have a supposed "friend" that is not
nice at all to me or anyone else for that matter. I have been
very good at avoiding her for the past 2 months.
So, she
texted me, and asked "are you mad at me? BIG MAMMA!" I was
shocked that she called me a name. Umm...are we in JR HIGH?!
Ok, so I called her and said, what is going on? I'm not mad at
her, I just don't want to have anything to do with her. So,
her sister called me and left me a message inviting me to some
BBQ at her house.
I didn't call her back nor do I intend to.
Then she messaged me on the myspace. I feel like I can't get
away from these people, they won't leave me alone. I don't want
to have anything to do with them, I don't want to have a final
goodbye, or an argument, or a blowup.
I feel like deleting my
myspace, getting a new e-mail address, and changing my phone
numbers! Every time I see that either one of those girls have
called me, or messaged me, I get an anxiety attack. (not been
diagnosed, but that's what it feels like)
So, Tanyetta, my
brave friend, what should I do girl? If you don't have answers,
it's ok, I just needed to get this off of my chest. I'm sorry
that this is the first time that I've messaged you and I'm
complaining. Ok, thank you for everything! God bless.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR THIS READER? IF SO, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT. YOU CAN POST ANONYMOUSLY TOO IF YOU WISH. THANK YOU.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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7 I love Comments! Please click here to comment!:
I think being an adult requires that we take some unwanted punches whether deserved or not.
It's too bad the "supposed friend" hasn't a clue what's going on. If she/he would just figure out that she's being blown off this would make an ideal situation for the one seeking advice.
It's a real dilemma, but I wouldn't change my MySpace or phone numbers. Unless of course these folk are crazy!
Girls, we can’t pick our family, but we sure can pick our friends.
All the best, and please share the outcome. Curious.
The best advice I can give to nip it all in the bud is to simply tell the person why you don't want to be friends anymore. If you need to write it out so you stay calm while saying it, then by all means do so, but you can't expect people to be mind readers.
If they are mean and insensitive already then what makes you think that they would know that you don't want anything to do with them.
Just call the "friend" and tell her that you would like her to stop contacting you as you are no longer interested in a pursuing a friendship with them. Give your reasons (you are verbally abusive, mean, insensitive, ect.) and that is not they type of relationship/friends that you want. Period. Done. Have a nice life and move on.
People can not grow, change or learn from thier behavior/mistakes if they are not ever told.
Unfortunately, she needs to end this NOW since the person could not a take a hint! Yes it may turn nasty as "Ms-not-so-nice" is already showing some un-welcomed colors.
I wouldn't delete anything or change the email address unless they're crazy as a previous comment pointed out.
If she is unable to do this by phone, and it does seem that way, either e-mail them or send a short text message telling them "please refrain from contacting me"
The email may work better but like I said she may get some backlash. After the email is sent, she needs to put the person's and her sister's email address on the block, SPAM or unwanted list and make it so that it will go straight to the TRASH when it comes into the inbox. Don't read anymore of the text messages because most likely they won't be pleasant friendly ones.
I hope it works out!
here's the man point of view, unless you change your number you will get periodic phone calls from anyone you flat out reject. even after they realize that you don't want to be around them their obsession with you will eventually get the best of them and they will call you again. if you should be foolish enough to answer your phone or they try the call you from a different number trick then you'll be sucked into about 10 seconds of awkward conversation before you say "look i gotta go" and hang the phone up
Thanks for posting my Email. Everyone is right. I realize now,
This girl does not deserve any explaination from me, nor should I waste any more of my energy, time on her. So, I am first going to disable my texting on my cell phone (if I can). Then I am going to put her e-mail address on the spam list. Then I'm going to block her phone number from my regular phone (if I can). And the last thing is deleting her, her sister, her other sister, off of my myspace. There's not going to be a goodbye, an explaination, arguement, fight. Nothing. I don't owe her a damn thing! Sorry, I'm just pumped from talking to my sister, and reading e-mails from you, and reading the comments on your blog. I do sort of want to say "please refrain from contacting me" Ha! But I don't know. So I'm starting the process. Pray for me, and that she doesn't come over unannounced to my house one day and scare the heck out of me.
I read that last part about "...coming over unannounced" and it reminded me of my ex-husband :-/
Good for her!
Do what works for you!
I'm so glad you have a support team and can move on from this mess.
Adding "friends" to MySpace or any other network is risky. Period.
Chalk this up to lessons learned.
Thanks for checking in!
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